Now, everybody gather round and listen if you would When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed It's the only help that you'll ever need Because everything is better with a bag o' weed! When Texas people wanna feel good (They go assault a queer) When stupid people need a thrill (They rent The Rocketeer) When Michael Jackson needs a rush (He humps a guy like me) But all we need is a bag o' weed to keep us worry free One, two, three, ho! A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed No, you don't need meth and you don't need speed Because everything is better with a bag o' weed As Mr. H. L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool" And just like Helen Keller said, "Poof do kee dee poh pool." But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear Because all we need is a bag o' weed To make us wanna cheer And one, two A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed You can try and fight, but we're all agreed Because everything is better with a bag o' weed One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight And a one, two, three, four And a five, and a six, and a seven. Oh! A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed You're a happy guy when you plant the seed Because everything is better with a bag O' Weed! Oh, everything is better with a bag of weed!